Say My Name

Football is a powerful force in American culture: each weekend, it grabs the attention of viewers around the country and the world, crossing socioeconomic and racial lines and inspiring all sorts of imitation: people playing football in the street, talking trash and practicing their touchdown dances. But one of football's most lasting contributions to American culture must be its players' names. How else would you explain the sudden glut of young LaDainians and Dontarriuses? I like to collect impressive football player names, and I'd like to log some of them here. I invite you to contribute. Foreign names are off-limits, but I'll accept names from all sports.

Here are a few to get us started:

Frostee Rucker (USC Trojans): The spelling indicates that he wasn't named for the Snowman, but for the slushy drink you can buy at the K-Mart food bar. Wouldn't you love to know that story?

D'Qwell Jackson (Maryland Terrapins): This name would have been ordinary and boring, if someone hadn't replaced the u with a w. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

D'Brickashaw Ferguson (UVA Cavaliers): I've seen some alternate spellings of this name, but all include the D'. Is this a trend? Will the next president to be impeached be D'George W. Bush? Will D'Karl Rove go to d'jail?

Sinorice Moss (Miami Hurricanes): This name means "Chinese Rice." Makes sense to me.

More soon. I invite you to contribute, gentle readers.