NFL, Week 2: Sunday afternoon
It's that time again: time for me to act like I know what I'm talking about regarding the NFL. Again, personal and geographical biases apply.
Steeler update: The Steelers dispatched the second AFC South team in as many weeks; the Texans never really threatened before losing 27-7. Willie Parker had another 100-yard game (111, to be exact), and Roethlisberger threw 2 more TDs. Most impressive for the offense, perhaps, was the success of the deep ball: Cedric Wilson (acquired to replace Plexiglass) had catches of 40 and 36 yards, and Antwaan Randle El had a 54-yard catch. Will those who blasted Cowher for replacing Burress with Wilson eat their crow publicly, or in private? The Steelers also sacked David Carr 8 times, including 3 by Troy Polamalu.
Aren't you tired of the Patriots? So were the Carolina Panthers. (My wife calls them the Pantyliners.) They whipped the Pats and made Brady look frightened. That D is pretty scary. The Pats play in Pittsburgh next weekend.
A Swing of the Pendulum: The 49ers (1-0) lost to the Eagles (0-1) 42-3. The 49ers, apparently, retired after last week.
Look Out: The Colts beat Jacksonville 10-3. It's frightening to think that the high-powered Colts are starting to win games with their defense. (Remember what they did to the Ravens last week.) A team with Payton Manning that can keep another team out of the end zone? Hello, Super Bowl.
The Taste of Bile: The Bears somehow pounded the crap out of the Lions this week. Last week, the Lions handled the Packers without difficulty. The Bears couldn't do anything against the Redskin Potatoes. The Vikings, everyone's choice to leap into contention in the NFC, took one in the gonies against the Bengals. It's a bad time to be a football fan up north.
The Taste of Bile, pt. 2: The Ravens plain stink. Against the Titans today, the team managed 14 yards rushing total. (Remember, Willie Parked put 161 up against the Titans last week.) It seems clear, after 2 weeks, that the Steelers' main competition in the AFC North is the Bengals, who suddenly look like th '99 Rams.
Rookie Watch: No catches for Heath Miller today. Matt Jones caught 2 for 7 yards. Carnell Williams ran for 128 against a tough Bills team.
Fashion Report: The new Bills uniforms are a great choice. That red helmet was terrible.
The Race for Matt Leinart: Who has the early lead on the first pick of the 2006 draft? The Niners looked like a worthy team today, but they wouldn't take a QB. Nor would many of the other early leaders: Bears and Browns have good young QBs. Would the Lions dump Harrington? Would the Texans dump Carr? The Titans, who could use an heir to McNair, did themselves the disservice of winning. Here's my dark horse candidate: the Cardinals. I'm watching their game right now, and, man, does Warner stink!
More soon.
Steeler update: The Steelers dispatched the second AFC South team in as many weeks; the Texans never really threatened before losing 27-7. Willie Parker had another 100-yard game (111, to be exact), and Roethlisberger threw 2 more TDs. Most impressive for the offense, perhaps, was the success of the deep ball: Cedric Wilson (acquired to replace Plexiglass) had catches of 40 and 36 yards, and Antwaan Randle El had a 54-yard catch. Will those who blasted Cowher for replacing Burress with Wilson eat their crow publicly, or in private? The Steelers also sacked David Carr 8 times, including 3 by Troy Polamalu.
Aren't you tired of the Patriots? So were the Carolina Panthers. (My wife calls them the Pantyliners.) They whipped the Pats and made Brady look frightened. That D is pretty scary. The Pats play in Pittsburgh next weekend.
A Swing of the Pendulum: The 49ers (1-0) lost to the Eagles (0-1) 42-3. The 49ers, apparently, retired after last week.
Look Out: The Colts beat Jacksonville 10-3. It's frightening to think that the high-powered Colts are starting to win games with their defense. (Remember what they did to the Ravens last week.) A team with Payton Manning that can keep another team out of the end zone? Hello, Super Bowl.
The Taste of Bile: The Bears somehow pounded the crap out of the Lions this week. Last week, the Lions handled the Packers without difficulty. The Bears couldn't do anything against the Redskin Potatoes. The Vikings, everyone's choice to leap into contention in the NFC, took one in the gonies against the Bengals. It's a bad time to be a football fan up north.
The Taste of Bile, pt. 2: The Ravens plain stink. Against the Titans today, the team managed 14 yards rushing total. (Remember, Willie Parked put 161 up against the Titans last week.) It seems clear, after 2 weeks, that the Steelers' main competition in the AFC North is the Bengals, who suddenly look like th '99 Rams.
Rookie Watch: No catches for Heath Miller today. Matt Jones caught 2 for 7 yards. Carnell Williams ran for 128 against a tough Bills team.
Fashion Report: The new Bills uniforms are a great choice. That red helmet was terrible.
The Race for Matt Leinart: Who has the early lead on the first pick of the 2006 draft? The Niners looked like a worthy team today, but they wouldn't take a QB. Nor would many of the other early leaders: Bears and Browns have good young QBs. Would the Lions dump Harrington? Would the Texans dump Carr? The Titans, who could use an heir to McNair, did themselves the disservice of winning. Here's my dark horse candidate: the Cardinals. I'm watching their game right now, and, man, does Warner stink!
More soon.
posted by Shane @ 1:12 PM
2 Comments:
At 11:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
Ooh. Bengals as '99 Rams. Right on. Carson Palmer's haircut is way more '85 Bengals, though: he's like Ken Anderson with a better arm and no mustache. If the Bengals could somehow summon the son of Ickey, things could get out of hand.
As a Kansas City fan, it was gratifying to see the Chiefs take down Randy Moss and Co. on Sunday. I'm still not fully convinced of the Chiefs' defensive revival, however. If they can find a way to contain the Eagles in Week 4, then I might step inside the tent.
Dwight Freeney is scary. His spin-n-whomp of Byron Leftwich during the Jags' last drive on Sunday was sublime. Credit to Leftwich for making the throw, though, and then being able to hobble down the field for more. If I were to assemble a Conan the Destroyer-style gang of toughs to ride to the rescue of some princess, Leftwich would be one of my guys. And probably Freeney, too, though I have doubts about his skill with a mace.
An observation: Billick means "cheap" in German. "Brian" still means "Brian," though no self-respecting Deutscher would ever name his or her son "Brian."
And, yes, Warner in Arizona is a little funny, a little sad and a little typical. When people started clamoring in the pre-season about how the Bidwills were actually spending money to field a decent team, it reminded me of the chatter that preceded the year the Kansas City Royals aquired Juan Gonzales and Roberto Hernandez (both ancient, oft-injured "star" journeyman-types) to put the pieces together for a playoff season. The Royals promptly lost the most games in the history of their franchise. Arizona fans, I feel your pain.
The Race for Matt Leinart - that's easy. On Rose Bowl eve, a spaceship piloted by Wookiees will shoot a giant blast of light through the window of Matt's Four Seasons hotel suite and beam him back to his home planet. There, he'll lead the Waa Kailee Garzaals to victory against the Endor Yub-Yubs. Everyone knows that Waa Kailee can guarantee more money up front anyway.
In the meantime, a pox on Chris Berman and his meaty hands that wave ceaselessly.
Until next time, cheers!
At 9:18 PM,
Shane said…
Now, THAT is some football commentary. Rare is the man who can drop references to Return of the Jedi and Conan the Destroyer, and still provide cogent analysis of Carson Palmer's hair.
Beautiful.
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